Overcoming My Own Irrational and Limiting Beliefs
August 5th, 2008 by AndyTonight I found myself discovering something new about myself. Not only do I have irrational fears, but I also have irrational beliefs. Not only do I have irrational beliefs, but these cause some of my irrational fears, and lead to me not doing some things that I really would like to do.
Tonight, an online friend of mine mentioned that he was contemplating taking tae kwon do classes again. Right away I found myself wondering why this person would take tae kwon do. He wasn’t the type. Then I realized I’ve always wanted to get into martial arts, but I haven’t. I haven’t because I’ve never believed that I was the type.
At this point, I began to notice how my own beliefs conflict with each other. How could I believe that on one hand I can do anything I put my mind to, yet on the other that I’m not the type to be involved with martial arts? If I deconstruct this a little further we notice that I have an enabling belief: "I can do anything I put my mind to." At the same time, I have a self limiting belief: "I’m not the type to be involved with martial arts."
Realizing this, and seeing how much this belief has limited me really opened my eyes. For a while I had thought that I had gotten rid of most of my self-limiting beliefs. Yet this, a very powerful belief, still remained. This leads me to wonder what other beliefs continue to hold me back.
As a result of this I have decided to take a few steps to begin to free myself of these beliefs.
Identify What Is Important
I am going to start to create list of the things that are important to me. It is extremely important that this list contain everything that I can think of including the things I do, the things want to do, and the things I wish I could do. This will become important as I begin to identify my limiting beliefs.
Locate the Limiting Beliefs
For each item on my list I will then go back and ask myself if I do it enough. If I don’t do it, or if I don’t do it enough, I will ask myself why. The answers to many of these questions are likely to be my self-limiting beliefs. For instance, if I were to ask myself why I’m not involved in martial arts, the answer would be because I don’t think I’m the type of them.
Cope With the Limiting Beliefs
Once I have a list of all of the things I want to do, and the reasons why I don’t, I’ll look though my answers and find the things I don’t do because of limiting beliefs. There may be very solid reasons for doing some things. Perhaps they’re illegal, or bad for my health. I will begin to change my attitude toward everything else on the list. One thing at a time, I will begin to overcome these beliefs and life the life that I want.
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August 9th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
What an excellent idea – i will be starting on my list this evening. Thanks Andy.
February 3rd, 2012 at 9:37 pm
There’s always a tension, isn’t there? On the one hand, you’re absolutely right that if we don’t pause to reflect on it, we all can restrict our capability to achieve things and to be happy as we could be with irrational, self-limiting beliefs.
Phyllis Diller was a middle-aged housewife in the 1950′s…how easy it would have been for her to say I’m a middle-aged housewife; there’s no way I could ever become a stand-up comic. But of course she didn’t accept that unfounded, limiting belief, and went on to become an icon of American comedy.
ON THE OTHER HAND, the limitations of human physiology are very real. It’s not a self-limiting belief that prevents me from running a mile in 3 minutes; it’s the fact that that’s physically impossible for me as a middle-aged guy with bad knees, bearing in mind that the world record is something like 3:47.
That’s an extreme example, granted. But not everyone has the innate capacity to be a successful comedian, or a doctor, or a chess champion. The simple truth is that we’re always confronted with the challenge of assessing whether our limiting belief is rational or irrational. If I want to try being a professional comedian on my own time, that’s fine because failure means little more an embarassment. If I quit my job to pursue it, then failure means bankruptcy and home foreclosure.