How Would You Define a "Short-Term" or "Long-Term" Relationship?
September 16th, 2008 by AndyMost of you will read that and initially think you have an answer. To tell the truth for a long time, that’s what I believed I wanted. After a while though I started to notice that people’s definitions of "Long-Term" differed. That’s when I started thinking about how relative that term really is.
Most other terms have relatively universal meanings. For instance if I said I were looking for marriage, pretty much everyone would understand that I wanted to marry someone. On the opposite end of the spectrum if I were looking for a one night stand, I could assume that pretty much everyone would understand. Friends with benefits, might be a somewhat sketchy but still most people would understand. When we come to short-term and long-term relationships, things get a bit more vague and the universal understanding crumbles.
These phrases define a whole set of expectations that may be different from person to person. For instance one person may understand short-term to be a single date, while another may assume this means friends with benefits for 6 months. Even still, with short-term, there is always a reasonable assumption that there will be an end to the relationship rather quickly.
Long-term tends to get even more complicated. One may assume that by long term we imply that there will be no end. Another may assume that there will be a very distant end. Even two people who believe there may be an end may differ in the length of the term. Is it 6 months or 6 years?
In my opinion both of these terms are used as a way to avoid sharing your true feelings about a relationship. Are you dating with the expectation of eventually getting married to someone? If so, are you not in fact looking for marriage? Are you dating with no real intention of getting married? If so, are you not looking for friends with benefits?
While this may seem like a big rant to some of you, I’ve hidden a greater point within this post. Most people don’t know how to communicate. More specifically, most people don’t know that they don’t know how to communicate. This has recently started to become crystal clear to me as I have been continuing my quest to learn NLP. You have to assume that another person’s definition of a word doesn’t match your own because they’re definition is based on their experiences just as your definition is based on yours.
As an experiment to help me prove or disprove my point, I’m asking that you leave a comment and explain what you think Long-Term and Short-Term relationships are. Thank you.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this archive is provided 'as is' without warranty of any kind. The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the user, and in no event shall Andrew Almquist be liable for any consequential, incidental or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this archive. Use of the information contained in this archive are governed by their respective license agreements and may contain restrictions on use.
