The Change
November 1st, 2009 by AndyTonight was Halloween. When the day started, I had no intention of having anything to write about tonight, nor did I expect to learn or notice the things that I did. Instead, I expected to have a Halloween just like every other I have had since my daughter was born nearly 10 years ago. However, there was no way this Halloween was going to be different because I had inadvertently sewed the seed for change.
Two decisions, one made a month ago and another made a few days ago, would lead me to a conclusion that I never would have expected. Firstly I decided that I would dress up. Secondly, I decided that I would do so along with my daughter before we left the house today. This morning when after we awoke, that’s exactly what we did.
As we were walking into restaurant to meet some family, my daughter said to me, “Daddy, I’m embarrassed. We’re the only people dressed in costumes.” At this point, I was still failing to put 2 and 2 together. She was right, it was a bit embarrassing, but hey, it was Halloween. Next we went to the Mall where they were having a costume contest for the kids. She continued talking about being embarrassed on the way there, and this is where the epiphany hit me. I had accidently stumbled on a great opportunity for systematic desensitization.
As the day went on, I observed myself. At times I did get somewhat anxious, but at the same time I kept my head clear enough that I was able to observe myself and correct myself. As the day went on, it got easier and easier until finally we ended up at a Halloween party for the kids at a local ice arena. This is where I was eventually shocked into realizing how much of a difference the day had made.
After spending the night walking my one and a half year old nephew up to peoples doors along with my daughter, I unconsciously did something that opened my eyes to the ease I was having doing all of this. As my daughter and I were standing in line for her to play a game, I noticed that I knew the guy in front of us from high school, yet hadn’t seen him since. Suddenly, my mouth opened, moved, and words came out seemingly without thought. After my daughter finished playing the game I finished up the conversation, and continued on my way to the next game where I realized what had happened.
Yesterday, this wouldn’t have happened. I would have stood there thinking about saying”hi,” but would have failed to do it because by the time my mind had cleared it would have been too late. Tonight things were very different, I thought “Hey, I know him.” and acted before I had a chance to get lost in my mind. I don’t know yet how this new ability will play out past tonight, but I’ll remain optimistic, and we’ll see!
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November 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
“Tonight things were very different, I thought “Hey, I know him.” and acted before I had a chance to get lost in my mind. I don’t know yet how this new ability will play out past tonight, but I’ll remain optimistic, and we’ll see!”
If you think it too much in your head you will surely get back to your old patterns. Instead, continue improving the new aquired skill by people everywhere. After you master this, your next step is to be comfortable talking with strangers.
Sam