10 Things You May Want to Work On
February 15th, 2010 by AndyWhether you’re looking to increase your dating, find a wife, find a better job, or just get along better with other people, there will always be room to become better at whatever it is you want to do. Today I will share ten ideas with you that have the potential to help you turn you’re life around today and achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve
1. Speak Up
If you’ve ever mumbled the famous words “I’m too nice and people always take advantage of that” to yourself or others, this tip is for you. These words have left my mouth more than once. I’ve discovered that this isn’t usually true. Instead I have let people take advantage of me because I didn’t feel like voicing my opinion. In fact I’ve learned that I can still be a nice guy, and people really respect that more when I do interject my opinions.
Too often we assume that people understand how we feel about things. Of course this leads to us feeling let down or angry when they seem to deliberately step on “our feelings” when in reality they were looking at the situation in a completely different way. So make sure share what you are thinking.
2. Look At Things From Other Perspectives
Just as someone others rarely think of things in exactly the same way as you, you probably don’t look at things in the same way as they do. Each and every person’s beliefs are based on what they have experienced throughout their life. This gives each of us a very unique way of looking at anything that happens, and in some ways creates a different reality for everyone. So the next time someone says something that upsets you, gives you a gift that seems thoughtless, or disagrees with you try something different.
Instead of looking at the situation from your unique perspective, attempt to see it from their unique perspective. Exactly what is it that makes them believe that they are right? Why do they have the tendency to act the way they are? The more you work at seeing things from the perspective of other people, the better you will become at communicating with other people without conflict. With enough practice you be able to meet them at their perspective and lead them to understanding yours, thus getting what you want.
3. Know Your Goals
Notice I did not say “Know what you’re goals are.” This is because each of us already knows what our goals are. We might want good jobs, a certain car, or something specific in a partner, but these are just superficial representations of our goals. If we really want to get what we want, we need to really know our goals. Analyze each of your goals and make sure you understand why you want them, how they fit into your dreams, what you will get from them, and who will appreciate the results with you. All of this will help you to visualize your goals and eventually help drive you to achieve them.
4. Stop Waiting
Tomorrow will always be tomorrow, and there will always be a next week. Stop planning to do thing later Now. The only way you will ever accomplish your goals is if you quit putting them in the future and choose to start achieving them now. While you may not be able to do everything today, you can always take small steps toward achieving what you want.
5. Be Positive
You’ve probably heard this a million times, and you’re going to hear it again now. Learn to keep your thoughts positive. You may have grown up learning to look at things from a negative point of view, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Looking at everything from a positive point of view will make it much easier to learn from your mistakes and continue pounding away until you succeed.
6. There is No Such Thing As Failure
Goals are rarely ever accomplished on the first attempt. The difference between a person who appears to be successful and a person who doesn’t appear to be successful is that the successful person has failed many many more times than the unsuccessful person. The lesson here? With the right mindset, you can never fail. Each unsuccessful attempt at your goals is an experience that you can learn from before you try again. This is how we become experts at anything. Keep going and you’re sure to eventually succeed.
7. Confidence is Key
Learning to be confident in yourself is the key to many things. Confidence is the difference between those that follow and those that lead. To succeed, we need to lead. One of the best ways I’ve found to boost my confidence is to learn to alter my image from one of uncertainty to one of confidence. Just by removing the phrases “I think” and “maybe” from my speech, I started to notice a difference in the way people reacted to what I said. People went from considering me uncertain at work to looking at me as the authority. Try it and see what happens.
8. Trust Yourself
While this could fall under the category of confidence, I thought it was important enough to break it out on its own. If you want others to trust and follow you, you must trust yourself. Your unconscious non-verbal communication is usually more important than the words that come from your mouth. If you don’t have faith in yourself, your non-verbal communication will make it very obvious to everyone around you.
9. Surround Yourself With Success
Whether you realize it or not, we spend our lives learning to do new things by mimicking what others have done. As babies we learn to speak by mimicking sounds that others make. We learn to play baseball by learning to mimic the motions that others have made. We learn to write by mimicking the symbols that others have drawn. Throughout life, learning is a process of repeating the things that work to accomplish a task. With that in mind consider the difference between surrounding yourself with positive or negative role models. It definitely makes sense to be surrounded by people who are actively achieving the same goals you wish to achieve.
10. Be The Best You Every Day
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say “Just be yourself.” While this statement is true, it is frequently misunderstood even by those saying it. If you want to be successful it won’t be enough to “just be yourself.” In order to achieve all that you can you will need to always be your best self. Your best self will vary from day to day, but always try to find the motivation to push yourself to new levels. If you allow yourself to “just be” you probably won’t be able to find the motivation to move forward with your goals at all.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 5:40 am
I love all these tips and ideas, I’m gonna put them into practice NOW.
thank you!
June 28th, 2010 at 6:23 am
Why the disclaimer? You’re not trying to sell a product. No one could sue you because you wrote some benign advice to nonspecific people on a blog.